Category Archives: Poetry

Not Father’s Day

Another ‘non nautical’ post I’m afraid. Pertinent to this nautical person though and a bloke wott I met down the rub a dub last Tuesday.

A poem.


Jun 15, 2014

Not-father’s day

Not-father’s day today No morning breakfast tray.

Nor card soppily versed In filial love immersed.

Children in great array Their father love display.

Each post that father lauds Cuts as a thousand swords.

The words ‘I love you dad’ Not hearing is so sad.

We sit and pine away On this not-father’s day.

Cheap, cheerful, old, used, friendly, useful, slippery when wet, kind.

Cheap, cheerful, old, used, friendly, useful, slippery when wet, kind. Now that’s no way to talk about my mum but will admit that most of those words were and indeed are pertinent at times.

Sailor’s Poem

There was a bit of a hissy argument in the press recently concerning which poem should be ‘officially’ regarded as the poem of mariners. All sorts of artfy farty, noncy poncy bits of limp wristed girly romantic guff were suggested. Wholly in-appropriate to a one as far as we at the towers are concerned.

Indeed it is the following and only the following wott should be considered appropriate and warranted for the folk who earn their living on and from the seas.

Oh Lord above

Send down a dove

With wings as sharp as razors

To the cut the the throats

Of them there blokes

Who sell bad beer to sailors


Words that ‘grab’

A visit to cPanel and the AW Stats function has shown a marked decrease in traffic to this award winning and diligently nurtured website! Yes indeed, we know that must come as a shock but ’tis true.

In order to get over this sitoo’a’shun, the Technical Review Board has decided to come up with some nautical technical words and phrases to grab the attention of search engines throughout the planet Earth.

Chafe chain end links, Smit Bracket

Kenter, speltor and peewee

Buoyancy neutral, long weight

Doubler plate, golden rivet

Parallax, tabnabs, Butterworth, Victor Pyrate, chiksan,

Grimsby buoy, fluffy, gentle

Dynamic Amplification Factor (DAF)

Dobble, smoko, dhoby

Heave, veer, surge, sway, tremble

Voyage Exposure

If in doubt, run around, and scream……..and shout.

Through the teeth and round the gums, watch out tum-tum, here it comes.

Thimble, ferrule, eye, standing part.

ECDIS, Fanbeam, taut-wire, DGPS

Sail the seven seas and though you’d never think it, the rum’s too strong for me but I like the men that drink it. Your Honour.


Ditty from the sea

by allatsea

Allatsea is allatsea on the Hermod, Culzean field, North Sea.

The weather has not read the script and is very ‘un-July’ like. It brings the following to mind……….

“In deepest darkest Africa and off the coastline of the Scots,

There are terrors lurking there,

To scare you lots and lots.”

Reflections on possibly better days

A shite poem by a shite poet on a shite Saturday morning.

Big things get bigger and better but the size of my wallet does  not, and  the price of eggs bundles upwards keeping the omelettes petite quite a lot.

Not long back they were reps of the client with day rates of note and delight, but things have taken a downward shift sadly and now they are fears of the night.

Calling the shots and being  ‘I am’, was all in a normal day’s graft, now though they’re just shuffling crew-lists and feeling a little bit daft.

The money comes in at the end of the day and that’s to be counted lucky, to be honest there is no other way.

The numbers are lower and the sums  just add up, but my friend criticising,  that’s surely much better, than being hard up.


A poem lifted without shame from allatsea’s copy of ‘Best Loved Poems’, written by that old favourite ‘Anon’.

Bad Women

Oh the gladness of a woman when she’s glad!

And oh the sadness of a woman when she’s sad!

But the gladness of her gladness

And the sadness of her sadness

Are nothing to her badness when she’s bad.